This is a guest post by Jonathan Templeton. He and his family are going to be partnering with the Fulks and others in facilitating a Church Planting Movement in the least-evangelized spanish-speaking country, Spain. You can check out their website here.

————————————————————

Over the last twenty months of deputation our family has traveled approximately 35,000 miles, communicated our ministry in four countries, three languages, and fourteen states. Naturally, we are invited to share many a meal with folks. To be precise, my wife and I have dinned out 89 times and eaten a formal meal in someone’s home 65 times. God graciously has provided for our family through many who invited us over to share a meal in their home. You can imagine however, how hard it is to keep off the pounds!

More to the point, we have learned first-hand how you can host missionaries and make them feel welcome in your home. In addition we have learned from numerous families the valuable lesson of how we too can be good hosts. Yet some have timidly asked, how should I host a missionary? Let me share with you a few a ways you can entertain missionaries and not feel uncomfortable or have your missionary guests experience an awkward meal.

1. We are NOT more-holy-than-thou.

Often times a question communicates more than is intended. In this case the question, “how should I host a missionary?” certainly does. It communicates that one, the missionaries are difficult to host or two, they are difficult to relate too. I won’t deny that the first can be true. Yet the later more frequently tends be the case, and this is due to the fact that missionaries are oftentimes placed on a spiritual pedestal. Naturally it will be difficult to relate to a missionary who you may view as one of heaven’s elite and therefore distant. Missionaries are NOT more-holy-than-thou. We have the same sinful tendencies and wrestle with the same issues as you do. Our vocations are different, but we hit our funny bone just like you do. Do not feel you are inferior in some way to your guest missionary.

2. Be willing to split an apple in four.

An Italian friend once challenged me to invite people over to our house even if all we had was an apple to split four ways. He went on to say, that there is something about a meal that creates fellowship and fosters friendships. Perhaps the middle-eastern cultures are not too off the mark in placing great value in sharing a meal with someone. And so conversation around food oftentimes cultivates a relationship for food becomes a conversation piece that allows for two or more individuals to share something in common. So don’t be afraid to have a missionary couple over to your house even if you only have an apple and peanut butter to share. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the relationship that results.

3. Come prepared with thought provoking questions.

Sometimes we arrive at a home, and it is clear they feel intimidated by us and are somewhat bashful in striking up a conversation. Here is a useful tip that we try to use when going to a home for dinner. My father taught me this. Come prepared with a handful of questions. Your kids can even participate in this. And you already have one leg up on them since you know what they do and where they live. So ask them one question at a time, but search for a follow-up question. This does require listening and not just hearing. Don’t be too focused on your next question or you will miss catching a good follow-up question. If during the conversation you learn they have a particular interest, gear your questions toward this subject. Being a well-rounded reader will enable you to ask questions on a variety of subjects. Recently I was listening to an audiobook on a submarine from World War II. It just so happened that the music director from this church was a submariner. That book went a long way for me in conversation.

4. Don’t keep us guessing.

The moment we walk into your home, a dozen or more questions swarm into our minds. Should I take my shoes off at the front door or keep them on? Should I stay standing in the hallway or head to the family room and have a seat? Where do I sit at the table; at the end, in the middle, by wife? There are many more questions swirling through our minds. It’s helpful to know what are the unspoken customs in your home. We are so accustomed to them that we forget to tell our guests. The last thing I want to do is sit in papa bear’s chair. Simply put, tell us what to do. This helps us feel at ease and comfortable with you in your home.

Would you add anything?

For other posts on Missions, click here.

This is a guest post by Scott Fulks. He and his family are headed to Spain in the next month, so I asked him to share some thoughts on the deputation process.
You can read post one here.
__________________________

Mission Sundays [Part II]: How churches can discourage visiting missionaries

In the previous post, we considered five ways by which churches can encourage visiting missionaries. Whereas the overwhelming majority of Missions Sundays are uplifting, from time to time, these visits can lead to discouragement. By the following five encouragements, a congregation can evaluate whether their interaction with a visiting missionary can inadvertently dishearten them.

1. Keep yawning through the songs.

Through our deputation travels, I have seen virtually every style and flavor of worship; this does not discourage. What does discourage is to scan an auditorium and see a majority of people disinterested, unimpressed and unconcerned with the majesty of our Lord. A missionary who is as prone as any believer to wander spiritually, forget the glory of grace, and cave to temptation is certainly disheartened to run the Christian race when he is surrounded by a host of witnesses who demonstrate spiritual apathy and carelessness.

2. Talk to me as if I’m Dr. Phil.

While I refuse to wear my mission board’s name badge while attending other churches [I don’t need any help sticking out like a sore thumb], from time to time I feel that I have one on. It must read – Dr. Phil. When your talking to him, it’s all about you. Though I do not in the least bit desire to be the center of attention or crave popularity, it can certainly be deflating to endure an entire conversation, meal or evening when the several-hour-long conversation revolves entirely around the other person. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to others and about their lives – there is so much to learn! Yet when not one question about our ministry, background, or interests arises, one can wonder why we ever visited. Though this experience is certainly not common, unfortunately it is not rare.

3. Assume I’m single.

We have stayed in some unbelievably gigantic and gorgeous homes and some petite but welcoming residences. Most hosts bend over backwards for our arrival. The hosts who are least prepared are those who fail to consider the needs of the entire family. In my case, our two infants pose potentially difficult Sunday afternoons and little forethought in this area leads to undue stress. Whereas the male missionary is assured of speaking arrangements, technological details and housing arrangements by the pastor, the rest of the family can, on occasion, be neglected or overlooked for its unique stage in life. Failure to know the missionary’s family can lead to the missionary’s failure to communicate well.

4. Bolt out of town.

Though I have not encountered this myself, I speak from the (frequent) experience of others on this matter. It is not uncommon for missionary candidates to arrive at a church only to learn that the pastor is away on vacation. While the missionary was assured that he could have the morning sermon, it was only to fill pulpit not to evaluate potential for partnership. This misguided tactic informs the missionary that the host is preeminent and that the guest is secondary, at best.

5. Convince me of your hobby horse.

Every once in a long while, I have left a church exhausted because someone has cornered me for what seemed like an eternity. While enduring a one-sided conversation, I have heard some Christians trying to convince me that their method of schooling is exclusive, that their perspective on the fiscal situation in Europe necessitates my close study, or that their technique to reach the Roman Catholics is unequalled. A member that is quick to speak and slow to hear can cause tremendous, though unintentional, consternation.

How do you perceive Missions Sundays? Are you a catalyst for encouragement in the lives of your guests or are you a detriment to the perseverance of your brother or sister in Christ? I speak not as one who desired better than I deserved, but as an increasingly seasoned traveler who desires to implement principles among my congregation from my own observations. May God use us to demonstrate “hospitality to one another without grudging.” [1 Pet 4:9]

This is a guest post by Scott Fulks. He and his family are headed to Spain in the next month, so I asked him to share some thoughts on the deputation process.
__________________________

With display curios and prayer cards in tow, hundreds of missionary families make the trek to their next destination each and every week. Upon arrival the car is parked, the kids and bags are unloaded and the front door of the church is opened. What is in store for them on this Missions Sunday? The answer rests squarely on the condition and preparation of the church.

Our family of four just finished pre-field ministry. For the past 19 months, we have traveled to scores of churches and were often immensely encouraged and, at times, deeply discouraged. In this two-part series, I seek to assist churches by laying out a number of incomplete but useful ways through which a congregation can first, encourage, and then, discourage, visiting missionaries.

1. Be a church led by a number of men in godly leadership

Without a doubt, the healthiest, most vibrant and effective churches across the United States are those led–officially or unofficially–by an expanding group of godly men. Where men are absent or passive, churches are lifeless and void of vision. Where few male leaders are present, the product is shallow and void of needed assessment. A missionary is immensely thankful to attend services which a number of leaders have dedicated their efforts to preside over a God-honoring and Christ-exalting service. To observe several men who are actively serving, discipling others and promoting the spread of Jesus’ fame is both exciting and stimulating to any missionary.

2. Be a church who contemplates the details

It is a pleasure to open the front door of the church and be welcomed with a genuine smile, be greeted by one’s name, and have a display table prepared for use. It is a breath of fresh air when a church has been encouraged for weeks to visit the missionary’s website. A church who has become familiar with our location of service, our sending church and our teammates is exceptional but certainly revitalizing to those of us who must repeat these mundane facts to countless inquirers. These small but significant tokens of care put your guests at ease and make them feel at home.

3. Be a church where grace is primary

One Sunday afternoon, I sat across from a pastor in his living room when he asked me the best question I ever had to answer. He looked me in the eye and asked with sincerity, “What is the gospel?” As the only one to have asked me this question throughout the entirety of our recent travels, it was refreshing, unassuming, and penetrating. Whereas many missionaries experience those who are ready to debate divisive points of theology, this question remembered that which is of first importance [1 Cor 15:3].

4. Be a church who is genuine with us

As a missionary, we perceive ourselves as fish-out-of-water since we have to travel around the country and miss our own church’s gatherings. We appreciate immensely those who see us as friends, not strangers and potential partners, not passers-by. We welcome those who see our glaring weaknesses and graciously point us to Christ. We are deeply touched when those we visit recognize our less-than-perfect life situation. Often one touch of care is a means of sharing with us that you recognize our humanness. We remember well those who filled up our gas tank, provided a hotel for a change, or carried in our display bags; these were sentiments from genuine friends.

5. Be a church who is upfront about potential support

Financial support is often the elephant in the room which both the church and the missionary know is present. Churches can alleviate this burdensome situation – and thereby encourage their guests – by informing the prospective missionaries of the feasibility of financial partnership. If consideration is possible, give them a reasonable expectation of the process which is to follow – don’t leave it vague or awkward for the missionary. If the answer is no, it will not hurt our feelings, so please tell us. It is better to know that support is not reasonably possible than to be led along to the contrary only to great disappointment later.

How does your church reach out to missionaries on deputation?