THAT Traveler

THAT traveler  
I would like to apologize to all those traveling by plane on Monday and Tuesday. 

It will be I who delays your flight, brings TSA to a screeching halt, and whacks your shoulder as I stumble down the center aisle burdened with multiple unwieldy carry ons. Our personal items are the size of carry ons, our carry ons the size of checked luggage, and our checked luggage the size of shipping containers. 
I will be wearing bulky clothing with multiple items in my pockets which I will forget to take out going through TSA. 
I can’t remember where my tickets are. 
And I ate garlic. 
Forgive me.