We are not worthy

Giving is one of the predominant ideas for the season we are experiencing, and it is in full force. We are amazed at how so many people and churches have poured out their love for us in tangible ways, including, but not limited to:
extremely generous financial gifts,
sacrificially giving time or effort for our good,
shamelessly promoting the vision for Spain,
and thoughtfully pursing our wellbeing.

shopping bag

It has reached a point at which it is so overwhelming that it is painful.
When a church calls and notifies us that they are partnering with us in a sacrificial way, or an individual explains that they are cutting expenses to see us reach the field sooner, or a child rushes to our side and gives us something he has been saving, smiling all the while, we are left speechless. What do we say? How do we express what God is doing through them?
Love, generosity, and sacrifice is like sunshine. A nice glow pouring through a frosty window can lull one to sleep as they bask in its warmth. But those same rays, when focused into a single beam through a magnifying glass, can burn.
If someone gives a gift from a generous heart you smile. You laugh. You give them your thanks. But if someone lays aside part of their life for you, you feel the heat. The intensity of the focus begins to burn. A smile seams false. A word of appreciations seems trite. You feel like shouting, “No! I am not worthy of this. I could never accept this. I can’t ever repay you. Please stop.”
I can’t. I cannot repay the gifts flowing into my hands. I am not worth of what you have given. Your sacrifice is burning through my comfortable shell of self appraisal and self sufficiency. Your generosity has started a fire which is touching my soul, it is revealing my unworthiness. It hurts.
I suppose that you givers are one of God’s ways of reminding me that I am not worthy, that the gift is flowing from a heart transformed by him. This painful experience of extravagant giving to an unworthy recipient is another physical reminder of the gift given in the Gospel. “I am not worthy. I could never repay you.”
God’s people are pushing this message home in our lives.