{"id":6384,"date":"2016-04-12T09:00:08","date_gmt":"2016-04-12T14:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scquest.org\/?p=6384"},"modified":"2016-04-12T08:35:12","modified_gmt":"2016-04-12T13:35:12","slug":"we-are-going-to-put-ikea-out-of-business","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/?p=6384","title":{"rendered":"We are going to put IKEA out of business"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Some of you naysayers have said that we have no talent whatsoever with woodworking\u2026and we proved you right trying to make this kitchen stand for Crystal. However, you cannot say that we lack ingenuity.<\/p>\n<p>Sav (&#8220;I&#8217;m afraid of sharp power tools), Jon (aka &#8211; Bob the Builder)*, and I (&#8220;stop whining, Jon, and put a bandaid on it&#8221;)\u00a0spent some time using up the scraps from Jon&#8217;s garage. In actuality, these are the scraps of the scraps, since Jon had scavenged them from old pallets and junk heaps. He had used up all the &#8220;nice&#8221; stuff before we got ahold of it. Selfish. I know.<\/p>\n<p>Through much blood, sweat, and tears (mostly blood), we have a finished product with\u00a0a\u00a0top shelf to hold our coffee maker, a\u00a0middle shelf to hold our microwave, and a\u00a0bottom slanted shelf to hold our vegetables (one could say that all the shelves are slanted, but this one was actually meant to be. No. Really. I mean it.).<\/p>\n<p>In trying to take over IKEA&#8217;s clientele base, I have decided to name our company, IK-E, pronounced &#8220;ICK-EE.&#8221; We will show those Scandinavians a thing or two.<\/p>\n<p>Grandpa Jack would be so proud.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_8684.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_8684.jpg?w=584\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_8671.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/img_8671.jpg?w=584\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-6393\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?resize=584%2C438\" alt=\"IMG_0197\" width=\"584\" height=\"438\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?w=2049&amp;ssl=1 2049w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?resize=400%2C300&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?w=1168 1168w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0197.jpg?w=1752 1752w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 584px) 100vw, 584px\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-6394\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0198.jpg?resize=584%2C779\" alt=\"IMG_0198\" width=\"584\" height=\"779\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0198.jpg?w=1536&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0198.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0198.jpg?resize=768%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/scquest.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/IMG_0198.jpg?w=1168 1168w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 584px) 100vw, 584px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>*If you are wondering why Jon does not appear in any of the photos, it is because we didn&#8217;t trust him with any tools\u00a0except the camera.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some of you naysayers have said that we have no talent whatsoever with woodworking\u2026and we proved you right trying to make this kitchen stand for Crystal. However, you cannot say that we lack ingenuity. Sav (&#8220;I&#8217;m afraid of sharp power &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/?p=6384\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-experiences"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p34kFn-1EY","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6384"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6406,"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384\/revisions\/6406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6384"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scquest.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}